-The Myspace Song- lol
It's funny you submit this now because I saw this after I deleted my MySpace (mainly because of spamming).
On to constructive criticism: When I criticize rap, I look at the timing of the rapper, the lyrics, and the delivery (the 3 most important elements)
Rap Timing: not that good. Just because rap doesn't use the music theory as extensively as other genres of music doesn't mean you can rap as fast or as slow as you want in a set tempo. I recommend rapping to a metronome or a 4/4 drum beat to improve. Start at a slow tempo like 50 and work your way up.
Lyrics: I couldn't make out the lyrics that well. See Delivery.
Delivery: this is what rap is all about. You must stay consistent and make sure your delivery reflects your feelings toward the subject. There were patches in the song where you were too quiet for me to make out the lyrics, then you go back to normal volume. If you're angry about myspace, be angry!
Trust me. I know what good rap and bad rap sounds like. I am a music critic and I know someone who is an awful rapper.